The Most Soothing Cosmic Horror You'll Ever Read

May 11, 2025, Evo Numy

Tell me the most soothing cosmic horror story you’ve ever heard. Soothing cosmic horror? I mean, something that will forever tear down how I see the world, the way I perceive reality. I want my mind, body and soul to be transported to a place so horrible, so awful, I will lose all sense of sanity if I entertain the thought of this horror for a brief second.

It’ll be something I can comprehend but I shouldn’t be able to. I want to find comfort in being able to understand what this horror entails but I’ll never be able to grasp its full, complete concept. It will be a concept so horrible that I will have nothing left to fear because there is nothing worse than this.

Many years ago, I experienced how insignificant I am on the cosmic scale of things. I was on a deep, intense spiritual journey. I had visited a place just outside my body and remembered all the different states of being that I was, am and will be. I became far away planets, stars and universes. I became molecules and neutrinos. I became other life forms. I became space and time.

I became a grain of sand on a beach on a planet, and I saw that the planet was surrounded by an unfathomable amount of other planets with beaches that contain unfathomable amounts of grains of sand. I saw endless grains of sand, endless beaches and endless planets. I then experienced being every grain of sand on every beach on every planet. I… I had only just begun to see how insignificant and infinitesimal I was… how immense the scale of time and the universe was.

Then, I felt something that was not me, it was greater than me. Greater than the universe, greater than space and time. It was so large, so complex that it was actually impossible to even grasp the most basic concept of what it was… and I touched it!

Upon touching it, I screamed in pain and horror because its memories flooded into my mind! I found out that I’ve subconsciously known about this entity since my beginning. It already knew me and everything about me, it had been watching me for eons. It also knew everyone and everything about everyone. It has observed and knows every single elementary particle that led to the creation of everything and it knows all the various forms those particles will take on through all time. The amount of knowledge it knew was endless and incomprehensible!

I saw myself through its eyes and learned the truth about the nature of my reality. I was nothing, I was less than a grain of sand. Even though I brushed against this great entity, saw its memories and saw through its eyes, it did not notice me because it does not care. Actually, that’s a lie. It does not care enough to even give a care. It does not notice us or anything because there is nothing worth paying attention to. To it, we are more insignificant than a single particle within a single grain of sand in an unending universe filled with infinite planets that contain more trillions upon trillions upon trillions upon trillions of grains of sand! Now… I am finally able to grasp how insignificant and useless my life is!

My mind then departed from the great entity. Nothing really, truly, honestly does matter. The things I do and don’t do do not matter. My knowledge of the entity doesn’t change anything. Enlightening others to this greater entity will accomplish absolutely nothing! Trying to bring the universe down to acknowledge and understand this entity does… Not… Matter…

My spiritual journey ended and I came back to my body. I came back to my futile existence. I was changed. I was something else. My cognitive functions and memory were like a fog. I couldn’t focus on anything anymore. I saw my tiny, insignificant existence compared to the incomprehensible cosmic scale of everything that was, is and will come. I saw no point in having goals because they do not accomplish anything. I saw no point in having desires because they are all in vain. I saw no point in struggling to make a name or a life for myself in this world because it is all futile. I saw no point in anything because there was never a point to begin with. I am less than a speck of dust in a universe that has no beginning and no end. I am lost, buried and forgotten between time that stretches on in both directions infinitely. I. Am. Nothing.

I laughed maniacally in relief! I didn’t have to care anymore! I didn’t have to care about having desires, I didn’t have to care about having goals, I don't have to care about my life, my existence, my legacy. I am free! I am released because I am nothing! I never existed! I… Never… Existed!